But when? When does the baby come?
Our wedding day. This day was nearly three years ago already, and sure enough, the question "So when are you guys having kids?" began immediately. In fact, I'm sure we were asked this question several times during our reception. How can someone possibly answer that question and truly know the answer?
Over the next couple years, the question of kids only increased in frequency. Perhaps this is to be expected, but it never became less intrusive. When you think about this question, you realize how private and personal it is. There are so many variables, some controlled and some not, that are involved in the answer of this question. So, when I was asked this question, I was never upset with the person asking it, but it would prompt me into a tailspin of analytic thinking. Which, let's face it, isn't hard to do; I'm a counselor!
Then, you have the people who don't ask the question, but answer it for you. You know those people. The ones that tell you how long to wait, or how little to wait. Every time I received this unasked advice, I took it in. At first it was helpful, then it became quite confusing because the advice is never the same. So, which do you take?
I decided to take my own. Dustin and I are the only ones who know our marriage and know when we want to start a family. So, it was up to us, and God answered quickly! In March, after 3 years of marriage, we will be welcoming a beautiful baby into our lives, making us a family.
My unasked advice to moms-to-be: Start a family when you're ready. You'll know. Married for x amount of years, not married, 22 or 37 years old, career or stay at home mom, one child or five, adopted, fostered or no children at all; it's all your decision and your business. Take in advice when you receive, but only if you want. If you don't want it, smile and nod. When you're asked when you're having children a simple "we'll see" usually covers it.
"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for."
